Thu 10 Jul 2008
I may have promised mobile phones and hi-technology for the next post, but that’s been postponed for another time to make way for something considerably lower in tech. What will be the start of an ongoing profile of one James Gordon Brown, elected leader of the Labour Party and unelected leader of the United Kingdom.
Now it’s unfair to say that Gordon Brown’s not what it used to be, as I’m sure he’s always been a sack-faced, penny-pinching miser with all the charm and political conviction of a dull spoon.
Now I can’t say I’ve ever had the dubious pleasure of meeting Mr. Brown in person, nor would I particularly wish to brag about it if I had, but there’s no need for me to ever do so. I have a television. I have access to that old conversation killer, the internet. I have my ears, I have my eyes, and I have Wikipedia. What more does one man need?
Gordon Brown, our unelected Prime Minister, is apparently the man to steer us through the recession that this crooked Government won’t even admit we’re plummeting head first into. He surrounds himself with lackeys and toadies who’ll jump to his defence at every given opportunity to remain on-side and keep their seat on the lucrative gravy train hurtling on oblivious as the rest of Britain slips from the tracks.
His leadership is the culmination of eleven years of ineptitude that began the day Labour took the working man’s vote and by way of thank you sold him down the river, in a bid to appease the middle classes and court the snakes that head big business, getting fat as the rest of us starve. That to me is unforgivable. Putting them on a par, as far as my estimation goes, with the preceding Tory governments and their 18 years of corruption, daylight robbery (privatising nationally owned industries, anyone?), and grinding ordinary, decent working people into the carbonised remains of what was once a healthy industrial landscape.
But I digress. Indeed. Gordon Brown may have only been in the job a year - having been handed the tenure on a plate by the slippery, walking grin that came before and knowingly sentenced so many sons and daughters of this land to death in a far off one – but it’s already a fine track record he’s bludgeoned out for himself. One that must be an inspiration for anybody who’s ever considered a career in politics.
So it would be fitting to just take a brief look at a few of those achievements, just so we can get an idea what we’re dealing with for future instalments.
Oct 7th 2007 – Gordon Brown finally ruled out an early election, after stirrings within the party and much criticism seemed to have made it inevitable. Of course, this only came after what had seemed to be an eternity of dithering and indecision over the matter. A first display of the ‘decisive’ leadership that the public would come to know and despise.
April 22nd 2008 – There’s a Labour revolt over the abolition of the 10p tax rate, a tax rate that was brought in to assist the most vulnerable and lowest income families in Britain by none other than a certain John Gordon Brown, back in 1999 when he was Chancellor of the Exchequer. All’s not well at 10 Downing Street.
May 1st 2008 – The Labour party show the worst local election defeat in 40 years, whilst simultaneously losing the London mayor tenure to a bumbling, besuited buffoon from the Tory party, with a habit of putting his foot in his mouth at any given opportunity. Alarm bells, anyone?
May 13th 2008 – An emergency mini-budget is called to quell a party revolt as Gordon Brown and his partner-in-crime, Alistair Darling, back peddle over the decision to abolish the 10p tax rate. In a display of pig-headed arrogance, they don’t reinstate it, but instead borrow £2.7 billion to give the 22 million basic rate taxpayers a tax cut. Are these the actions of man fit to steer the ship through choppy waters? Either stand by your decision or do the right thing and admit you were wrong!
June 27th 2008 – Henley by-election. Labour come fifth behind not only the Tories and Liberals, but the Greens, and – of all things – the BNP. To add insult to injury they lose their deposit.
This week, whilst lording it up at the self-satisfied jolly boy’s outing that’s the G8 summit; he stopped chewing just long enough to tell us that if we’re to combat rising food costs Britons must stop wasting food. Apparently “unnecessary” food purchases and our lack of ability in planning meals are to blame for the imminent economic crisis. This pearl was delivered whilst the food from a three-course lunch digested to make room for a six-course dinner on the evening.
Exceptional timing, old chap.
That’s the sort of man we’re dealing with. The ‘thinking lady’s Heathcliff’.
Stay tuned…
If you like the cut of my jib? Wanting more? Then subscribe to my RSS Feed.
Jeffman on 
