No. 43 The Chancer’s Formbook: Bandwagon Jumping

There is a powerful weapon found resplendent in the toolboxes of all chancers. If employed efficiently and with the optimum of timing it can be used to devastating effect. I refer, of course, to the Politician’s very own favourite: Bandwagon Jumping.

All chancers worthy of their salt are trained to the pinnacle of their abilities in this discipline, and will be on a constant lookout for the latest bandwagon rolling by upon which to hike up a trouser leg and hitch a ride.

Case Study
The tool has been used admirably over the past few days or so, following the furore surrounding overpaid entertainers, Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, and their leaving of risqué/lewd messages on the answer phone of Manuel off of Fawlty Towers. To fill in a bit of background, this happened on a pre-recorded radio show on BBC Radio 2, broadcast on October 18th. Remember that date. Now Russell Brand has a bit of a history for putting his foot firmly in his mouth, and as for Jonathan Ross – well he’s 48 and should really know better by now.

But we don’t wish to get bogged down in the rights and wrongs of this, for that is not the purpose of The Chancer’s Formbook. Instead, we shall note that to date there have been 18,000 complaints to the BBC and Ofcom (TV, radio and communications regulator) regarding this broadcast. It is also worth noting that only two of these were made at the time on the aforementioned date of October 18th.

The remainder of the complaints have flooded in following scumpaper, the Mail on Sunday, running the story in their usual, non-partisan manner on October 26th – an entire week later. It is also worth noting that the Daily Mail and its Sunday edition hold a deep dislike for the BBC for what it sees as a pro-Labour Party bias, and a continued hostility to its favourite pin-up girl (alongside Princess Diana), Mad Mrs. Thatcher.

But that’s not here nor there; what counts is that over the past three or so days, over 10,000 chancers have either specifically sought out a recording of the original broadcast so they can find themselves offended and phone in to complain, or they’ve complained solely on the basis of what they’ve read or seen on the news. That’s the type of herd mentality that the late but not lamented Mary Whitehouse and her band of self-righteous, self-promoting chancers had been trying to drum into us for the past fifty years.

But it doesn’t end there; otherwise this wouldn’t be much of a case study in Bandwagon Jumping. The heavyweight chancers have waded into the argument with Gordon Brown (Labour Party leader and Prime Minister) and David Cameron (Conservative Party Leader and ex-Etonian) sticking their unsolicited oars in. The fact that Nick Clegg (Liberal Party) is the only one of the main leaders to have so far remained silent on the matter only highlights his party’s ineptitude and laughable credentials as a serious political force when it comes to spotting a bandwagon and hauling themselves aboard. Either that or they’ve finally conceded that nobody’s actually listening to their brand of idiocy.

So whilst you have a far more serious scandal involving Tory party funding; slimy shadow chancellor, Gideon George Oliver Osbourne; robber barons-in-waiting; vile queen Peter Mandelson; and a Russian aluminium magnate with possible Mafiya connections; raging on, the practiced chancer (in this case David Cameron) will seek to deflect this unwanted attention by putting himself on offer to make unnecessary statements on something else that’s grabbing the headlines (the aforementioned BBC broadcast).

The same goes for poor old Gordon Brown. Just replace ‘Tory Party Scandal’ with ‘Impending Recession’; ‘Devastating Rise in Home Repossessions’; or ‘a majority population pissed off with continually being ignored by the very shower of bastards they voted into these positions of unaccountable privilege and power in the first place’. Gordon Brown making a statement of disapproval on the matter of Russell Brand probably seems to him the only way he’ll ever get the public backing again.

The chancer spies a trivial story and plants his feet firmly on the condemnation bandwagon of a possibly insane (Suddenly becoming offended an entire week after the event???) vocal minority. All the while, Rome continues to burn.

Whether it’s right or wrong to tell an elderly gentleman that you may or may not have pronged his grand-daughter means little to the seasoned chancer. Not when there’s deflection, self-promotion, or something else that will benefit them firmly on the cards.

And obviously, Jeffman practices what he preaches. He has his red, blue, and yellow braids in spotting an opportunity and chancing his arm for his own ends, as is ably demonstrated by this post.

I enkyo.

If you enjoyed that, then give this the once over:
The Chancer’s Formbook: How to Sue Somebody

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