No. 13 Thatcher, Churchill, and the State Funeral

I think Jeffman lied when he said he’d be back on Monday, but then Jeffman, like a politician, has a long history of – how shall we say? – frugality with the truth. Just ask his good mother!

So what has spurred Jeffman into this unscheduled appearance?

Nothing really. Just a desire to get some random idiocy out of his system, and the fact that I can barely believe that giving Maggie Thatcher a state funeral has become an issue.

It has provoked our deputy leader, Harriet Harman, into releasing a statement upon this fine Saturday, saying that there has been no discussions whatsoever over granting the ex-Prime Minister that holiest of holes, the state funeral; should the hag do us all a favour and pop her evil, corruption-ridden clogs, anytime soon.

I’m not even sure a Labour government should be entertaining such a thought for a lady that did so much for the UK Labour movement (remember that?). But then, I wouldn’t put anything past this treacherous band of cutthroats and pirates.

Which beggars the question, why should Jeffman be making light of the possible imminent death of not only another human being, but a venerable ex-leader of this once fine land?

Well he doesn’t. He hopes that one day all death is eradicated from the planet. He hopes that Mrs. T goes on to live a long and fruitful life, well beyond the three score years and ten that nature has deemed necessary to stop us raping the planet’s resources any further.

He hopes this because Jeffman’s sure that that was the exact same sentiment that she, Parkinson, and the rest of them were nurturing in their hearts during the 80s, when, amongst other things, they were closing the pits and putting many a soul out to premature pasture.

Apparently, Winston Churchill was the last PM of this country to be granted a state funeral. Another Tory, back in the days when it was all the rage to be a Conservative Prime Minister. Does that mean we put Maggie Thatcher on the same plinth as that great man? The screaming alcoholic that single-handedly won the second world war for us? Or so history would have us believe…

Funny that. I don’t ever recall seeing any photos of old Churchill on the frontline being shot at. Or witnessing first-hand his best friend being ripped to shreds by a scatter bombardment from the Nazi Luftwaffe. Or even getting his good self strung up in a Japanese POW camp.

But then, I also have it from the most reliable of sources that the day they buried Churchill, there was dancing in the streets from certain members of our great nation. Possibly the same ones that had been continually shafted during his days at the helm.

Which brings us back to the Iron Lady herself, and the talk of this state funeral. I’m sure it’ll be watched, attended, and the streets lined by the same calibre of person that made the effort to get their good selves to Princess Diana’s funeral, bypassing their mother’s, father’s, nan’s and grandad’s graves en route.

I’m equally sure it won’t happen at all. And if it does, I’m doubly equally sure there’ll be a dainty jig or two performed not only on certain streets that day, but upon the hallowed internment that is her final resting place for years to come.

Hot dingle. You have been warned!

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